Always, Often and Today #Love #Loss #Life

Circa 2001 High School Days #WV #cchs

Circa 2001 High School Days #WV #cchs

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I haven’t posted on here in a while due to the tragic loss of my former husband and true friend, Rob Ruhlin. I say “former” because he isn’t my “ex” which sounds so final and sad…he was one of my true best friends and family. We grew up together from the age of 14 and were inseperable until our late 20s, but at that point really had grown into different people, but were both struggling to hold on to the relationship that was so important to both of us. Until we realized that no matter the direction our lives go, we will always be in each others lives because we truly cared for each other on a multi-complex level. I am sad I won’t ever hear the sound of his voice on the end of a phone call…or get some witty, snide email from him with a funny video…or our dog Chip will never get a pat on the head and hear “Hey buddy”…I’m sad I won’t get to tell him one last time just how much he meant to me and my life(even though he knew).

I am thankful I saw him one last time this past winter in NYC right after I had Bastian. We were suppose to have a dinner with our significant others but at the last min he canceled and just wanted to have lunch with me and meet Bastian. So the 3 of us met at a diner and caught up. It was particularly cold that day and started to snow. He wasn’t dressed nearly warm enough, coming from Texas…but he wanted to walk me home even though it was so far out of his way. That got us in some more time to talk. I’m glad he fought me, and walked me home. When we got there we did our usual goodbye, but like always I took an extra long, tight hug and can still smell his familiar scent that’ll I’ll never forget. We said we loved each other like family members do, he peeked in to say bye to Bastian in his stroller.  I walked into my building and watched him walk away down the sidewalk into the falling snow. That was and will be forever my last memory. Thank you for that.

Every I love you, you said today has already expired…so when you love someone, tell them, and tell them often, always and today.

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4 thoughts on “Always, Often and Today #Love #Loss #Life

  1. Kathy Brennan says:

    Hi, Kristen,
    I stumbled upon this blog page of yours. The special love that you and Rob had for each other is so visible in this piece. It warms my heart.
    Take care,
    Kathy

    Like

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